I’ve spent the last two weekends visiting my daughters and have realized how hard it is for me to truly let go! Sometimes it is an arduous process to refrain from giving my opinion. I still mistakenly believe I am responsible for their choices. At 31 and 26, they have proven that they are capable women who have been able to endure their personal hardships and learn from them. Still, I struggle not to indulge my tendency to project my own fears onto them, or to feel guilty about the times when I wish I would have done things differently.
I carried this poem around during some of our tougher times, and today it seems like a good reminder not to let my imagination determine my reactions.
Letting Go (retrieved from Familie’s Anonymous website)
To “let go” does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To “let go” is not to cut myself off,
it’s the realization I can’t control another.
To “let go” is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To “let go” is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another,
it’s to make the most of myself.
To “let go” is not to care for,
but to care about.
To “let go” is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To “let go” is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To “let go” is not to be in the middle arranging the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
To “let go” is not to be protective,
it’s to permit another to face reality.
To “let go” is not to deny,
but to accept.
To “let go” it not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings, and correct them.
To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires
but to take each day as it comes,
and cherish myself in it.
To “let go” is not to criticize and regulate anybody
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To “let go” is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To “let go” is to fear less,
and love more.