My strategy for managing my anger today

 

I am still working on a strategy for dealing with my anger towards a few people, and I’ve decided to use the same techniques that work with toddlers and young children – redirecting and focusing on activities and people that are more positive and energizing. I’m hoping this approach helps to dissipate my strong reaction.

You see, I have never been very good at anger, even when my mom was abusive towards me. I actually adopted a sort of Stockholm syndrome mentality. There was usually no danger of me cursing someone out or extracting revenge upon them; no passive aggressive behaviors up my sleeves. The real problem has been the impact being disliked or mistreated has on my ego, and how I normally torture myself trying to figure out how to win them over again. Not this time, I am not going to waste time beating myself up and going back for more. If the dog bites, I’ll stay away!  Instead, I will try accepting these emotions and letting them pass without needing to manipulate the situation.

I think this is a step up from my usual method of sucking up and trying to get the person to like me, thus turning myself into a doormat. I know there is more work to be done on my psyche but for now detaching will have to do. I will work on being Zen about it tomorrow.

 

 

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2 thoughts on “My strategy for managing my anger today

  1. I admire you for trying to figure this out. I have one particular person (SIL) whose behaviour towards me has been hateful and now we simply have nothing to do with each other. But the situation sits uncomfortably in my gut and I fluctuate between longing for resolution and reconciliation AND hating her guts.

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