So it turns out I just don’t like being mad at people. It takes too much energy to strategize about whether to speak to the person, ignore them, confront them, talk about them, defend myself, or kill them with kindness. In the end, the only thing I can do is to move on and realize that their feelings are their business, not mine. I can take this simple action by living in the moment and not recreating their “infraction” in my head several times a day. Once the moment has passed, the only thing left is my story about what happened, so at that point I become the cause of any subsequent suffering brought on by my thoughts about the situation. My attempt to live in the moment doesn’t mean I can always control what I am thinking, but I don’t have to latch onto disturbing thoughts that arise. I can acknowledge what I am feeling and gently remind myself to focus on the present moment.
When I am having a lot of trouble letting go of the thoughts, I can do The Work, which I have found very helpful during tough situations. The water is calmer right now, and doing The Work is a good tool to turn to when the next wave hits!