Old Photo and No Regret Day 13

1 day 13I was getting my summer clothes out of the attic last week when a box of photos caught my eye. On top of one of the bins was my college sorority group photo. There I was, bare shouldered like the rest of my peers, looking so young and fresh.

My time at a Christian college in the south was short-lived, lasting only a year and a quarter before being told I wasn’t invited back. It isn’t surprising looking back. A girl from the north with a background like mine stood out like a dandelion on a golf course. I was lost and unhealthy in every way. Being away from home seemed to ignite my inner turmoil, and I lived with the constant feeling that I was going straight to hell.

In the short time I was there I lost a lot; my faith, convictions, confidence, friends, and love. It is there that I learned the first lesson about losing my way. It wouldn’t take long to lose my way again, and much longer to find my way back.

I don’t regret the journey.

This quote by Portia Nelson describes my journey:

“I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.

walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.”
Portia Nelson, There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery

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7 thoughts on “Old Photo and No Regret Day 13

  1. Very nice!

    For me, hell is not a place. It’s a state of mind. As long as you have that inner conversation with your conscience. All is good and God, is in your heart. … It was likely the colleges loss, not yours! Cheers Jamie.

    Liked by 1 person

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