I’m a little behind on my prompt posts, so this one will be short. I’ve decided to start a series called “A Day In the Life” and will be focusing on that in the upcoming weeks/months. The series is about what it was like growing up with a mother who had an illness that affected her thinking processes, called paranoid schizophrenia. I hope you will stop by and check it out.
Lost and Found
Occasionally when I get to the swimming pool for my morning swim, I discover that I don’t have my goggles or some other essential item like my bathing suit. If it is only my goggles, I will look through the lost and found bin for them and if I can’t find my pair, I may borrow a pair to use for that practice. Sometimes, when I am looking through the bin, I discover a cap or towel that I hadn’t realized I left behind on previous occasion.
I hate to admit it, but I am known for misplacing and forgetting things. I’d like to think I’ve gotten better as I’ve gotten older, but recently whether due to lack of hormones, my busy lifestyle, or a smaller house, I have gotten worse. I used to get really upset when I lost things, often running around the house frantically lifting up couch cushions, throwing clothes out of my closet, and spending hours searching to no avail.
I read once that the best approach to finding something is to walk away for a bit, relax, and allow your subconscious to do the work, until a small spark sheds light on the part of the brain that remembers where you were when it went missing. This has worked well most of the time. And that is why I don’t sweat it if my goggles are missing. That’s what the lost and found box is for, and at the end of the practice, I put the borrowed goggles back and wait for mine to re-appear, usually in some weird corner of my car trunk or one of my many other swim bags.
There is an art to finding what we’ve lost, and the same holds true for the bigger things in life, like recovering from a mental illness. Sometimes we search so hard for answers, they escape us. Sometimes we need to borrow someone else’s tools until we find our own. Always it does no good to berate ourselves for not doing better. We are doing the best we can, and we need to give our brains the rest, space, and help needed to find the peace we are searching for.